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3 Minute Monday

Podcaster with 1bn+ plays. I write about the most important lessons from the best thinkers on the planet. 300,000+ people read my free newsletter. Press subscribe to join.

A spotted red mushroom rests amidst foliage.
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3MM: Love, Infidelity & Authenticity

3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, A friend did a mushroom trip and a question came to him: “Do people love you for who you are or for what you do?” This is uncomfortable to consider. People loving us for who we are feels more real, genuine, caring, empathetic and robust. It feels like it’s less fickle and more difficult to lose. On the other hand, people loving us for what we do feels transactional and transient. The love we receive becomes contingent on what achievements and successes we can offer...

a car that is driving down the street

3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, I put a vlog out last week about my trip to record with Rogan & Naval. It's pretty beautiful. In other news, Waymo the driverless taxi service has come to Austin. I’ve found over the last few weeks that a Waymo which says it’s 7 minutes away regularly takes 15 minutes to get to me. It wasn’t getting lost or taking wrong turns, it just seemed to be moving unusually slowly around pedestrianised areas and junctions. I’ve realised that Waymo is totally cucked and has...

woman in white and red floral shirt carrying black short coated dog

3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, Toxic Compassion is the prioritisation of short term emotional comfort over everything else. Over truth, reality, actual long-term outcomes, flourishing, everything. It optimises for looking good, rather than doing good. This is seen in much of popular culture as the desirable, fair, empathetic thing to do. And it’s everywhere. People would rather claim that body fat has no bearing on health and mortality outcomes to avoid making overweight individuals feel upset....

Delicious cakes and pastries are on display.

3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, The Gastric Band Surgery of Being Busy. After undergoing gastric band surgery, people’s risk of suicide goes up. That’s perhaps unsurprising - gastric band surgery is a big deal and can sometimes have complications, infections and painful outcomes. But one of the unseen reasons for the increased suicide risk is actually due to the surgery going right, not it going wrong. Many patients used food as a way to deal with issues in their lives like emotional challenges,...

A black and white photo of a buddha statue

3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, I’ve been thinking about how to achieve a Realistic Path To Enlightenment. As much as moving to a cave in the woods and spending a decade in silent retreat might be great for your spirit, it’s not going to be doable by pretty much anyone. If you’ve meditated enough, you know that you accumulate momentum in mindfulness, kind of like a swell moving underwater. After enough time, there is a force and a power to your ability to drop into the present moment, and...

A red play button sitting on top of a white floor

3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, Post-Content Clarity. This is the best way to work out whether the content you consume is making your life better or worse. You see, there is a problem. While you watch anything, you are distracted by the content itself. Which means you can’t judge how the content impacts you. The creator has designed the content to be compelling and to keep you hooked, because if they didn’t, they’d be beaten by another creator who achieved that more effectively. But just because...

Person walks on a bridge with an umbrella.

3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, It is a sad fact that it’s more socially acceptable to be your own biggest critic rather than your own biggest cheerleader. This creates a fertile environment for external criticism to make you doubt yourself more than it should. Here are some strategies you may have used to try and avoid the pain of criticism with varying degrees of success: Get bitter and think of any critic as a hater just throwing envy and shade; recite the quote “Don’t take criticism from...

A man sitting on a window sill looking out the window

3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, Some advice on how to support men. Men want to aim high without feeling insufficient if they fall short. Men want their suffering to be recognised and appreciated without being pandered to or patronised and made to feel weak. Men want to believe that they can be more without feeling like they’re not enough already. Men want to be able to open up without being judged. Men want support without feeling broken. Men want to be loved for who they are not for what they do....

The sun is setting over a field with animals

3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, “20 years from now you’d give anything to be this exact age, exactly this healthy, in this exact moment. Take a second to enjoy it.” — Richard Webster We trade the thing we want (time) for the thing which is supposed to get it (money). We give up time to make money so that we can finally have more time when we have enough money. We give up happiness to achieve success so that we can finally enjoy happiness when we achieve enough success. “However much you feel you...

The sun is setting over a lake with mountains in the background

3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, “Dopamine is not about the pursuit of happiness, it is about the happiness of pursuit.” — Dr Robert Sapolsky So true. So much of life and enjoyment is about the anticipation of things coming. In fact, the anticipation is often actually more enjoyable than the experience itself. Tim Ferriss used to book week-long holidays years and years in advance so he could get as much enjoyment out of the anticipation as possible. This puts a new perspective on “it’s not the...