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I'm going on tour to Australia, New Zealand & Bali in March. Come see me.​

Discipline, motivation and obsession are three words that get thrown around a lot.

I think most people misunderstand all three, and because of that they miss some very big lessons about how life actually works.

Here’s the simplest way to separate them:

Discipline is “I will make myself do the thing.”
Motivation is “I want to do the thing.”
Obsession is “I can’t not do the thing.”

All three produce the same outcome - the thing gets done.

But the internal cost could not be more different, and the difference is friction.

Discipline is friction accepted.

You don’t want to do the thing, but you do it anyway. You lean on effort, willpower, routines, environment design, past patterns and habits to drag yourself over the line.

It’s mostly under your control, which is why it’s so reliable. If you are willing to pay the price, discipline will always show up.

The problem is that the price is high.

Discipline is expensive. It burns energy. It creates resistance. It feels heavy. It works, but it’s a grind.

Motivation is friction reduced.

You want to do the thing, so the resistance drops. You still need effort, but less of it. Motivation comes from desire, circumstance, novelty, identity, community and emotion.

You can try to manufacture it with goal setting, visualisation, community support, celebrating micro-wins, me and Alex Hormozi compilation videos and heavy metal music.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Motivation is unreliable because it’s downstream of how you feel. When your mood dips, motivation evaporates.

It’s useful fuel, but you can’t build a life that depends on it.

Obsession is friction inverted.

You don’t need to make yourself do the thing, you can’t avoid it.

You don’t push, instead the work actively pulls you toward it.

It invades your thoughts, it follows you into the shower, into the car, into bed.

When you’re tired it doesn’t disappear.

Obsession is motivation’s poltergeist big brother who never stops haunting you.

And because you can’t switch it off, that’s why obsessions with negative pursuits like politics or porn or a toxic ex can be so destructive.

The reason obsession is so powerful is simple - it is permanent free motivation and discipline.

You get output without negotiation and action without willpower.

It’s the fuel-source equivalent of hitting a Super Star in Super Mario.

This is why obsession produces disproportionate results in short windows of time.

People look at the output and assume superhuman discipline, when in reality the work felt almost unavoidable.

People admire discipline, and envy motivation, but very few understand obsession.

And because they don’t understand it, they waste it.

Here’s the part people miss… obsession isn’t a personality trait, it’s a state - which means it can’t be summoned on command.

You can’t decide to be obsessed.

It appears when curiosity, identity, reward and meaning accidentally align.

And when it appears, it doesn’t last forever.

That’s the tragedy - obsession is a non-renewable fuel source.

When it leaves, you don’t get it back on demand.

In future it will take you so much more effort to get even partially close to this level of output - so use your free fuel while it’s available.

Which is why the correct response to a positive obsession isn’t to suppress it, balance it or apologise for it, it’s to surrender to it.

If you’re currently obsessed with something positive, my advice is to you is this: let it crawl inside you, wear your skin and stare out through your eyes.

If you can’t stop watching lifting videos and spend all your time thinking about diet and training, now isn’t the time to be balanced with the gym.

If your sleep is wrecked because you’re ruminating about a business idea that you can’t wait to launch then don’t seek calm, you’re allowed to go demon-mode with it.

Serial obsessives move from intense project to intense project, making huge progress while the tide is with them so that when the obsession inevitably fades, something important has already happened - the rails for their future behaviour have been laid.

By the time the obsession wanes, you’ve built the patterns, routines, skills and habits that allow you to keep going when the fuel is no longer free.

I started going to the gym when I was 18 because I was obsessed with gaining muscle. I researched protein shake formulations, dreamt of going to Gold’s Gym in LA and skipped nights out partying to stay in my bedroom and read the Misc forums on Bodybuilding.com.

Nearly 20 years later I’m still training.

Not because I’m really even that disciplined or motivated, but because an old obsession fossilised into my identity.

The same is true for my meditation habit, my research for podcast guests, my productivity systems and my desire to build businesses.

What once obsessed me has now simply become me.

What often looks like discipline today is just the echo of someone’s past obsessions.

This is the quiet reframe people rarely say out loud - discipline sometimes isn’t the starting point, it’s just the residue.

It’s what remains when obsession cools down and settles into routine.

So if you’re lucky enough to be obsessed right now, stop trying to moderate it into something respectable. Stop worrying about whether it looks excessive. Stop pretending you’re supposed to feel balanced.

Balance is what you can enjoy later, obsession is what you can embrace now.

Most people never get an obsession worth anything.

If you have one, don’t waste it.

MODERN WISDOM

I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.
​

This week’s upcoming episodes:

Monday.
Trevor Wallace - why autism is the new stolen valor, why you can’t white-knuckle creativity and how to balance your drive for success with actually enjoying your life. Listen now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Thursday.
Dr Jay Wiles - the science of Heart Rate Variability, how to improve your HRV and the new world of bioresonance feedback breathwork.

Saturday.
Donald Robertson - how can you reduce anxiety and negative emotions using the principles of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? And a bit of Stoicism.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED

1.
​The American Time Use Survey had some jarring facts.

1. Between 2003 and 2024, the amount of time that Americans spent attending or hosting a social event declined by 50%.

2. Among young people ages 15 to 24, they spent 70% less time attending or hosting parties in 2024 than in 2003.

3. Men who watch television now spend 7 hours doing so for every hour they spend hanging out with another person outside the house.

4. The average female pet owner spends more time with her pet than all humans put together.

— h/t American Time Use Survey & Andrew Yang

2.
​Actions over words.

“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” — often (wrongly) attributed to Jung

3.
​Actions over intentions.

“A person can want you with their feelings and still fail you with their habits.

Emotion comes naturally to people, behaviour does not.

Most of us love with the same instincts we grew up with, and never realise our default settings are doing the damage.

You start noticing the gap between how deeply they care and how loosely they live.

They show up with intensity, but disappear in the details.

They mean every word, but their patterns pull in the opposite direction.

Not because they do not love you, but because no one ever taught them how to hold what they want without dropping it.

Affection is easy.

Consistency requires a kind of self-awareness most people spend years avoiding.

Love without structure feels warm at first, then unstable, then unsafe.

Not because the love is weak, but because it has no shape, no rhythm, no reliability.

Emotional safety dies quietly in that space, not from lack of love, but from the weight of someone who never learned how to turn feeling into action.

And the hardest truth is this: someone can truly want you and still not be prepared for the version of themselves they would need to become to keep you.” — the brilliant Warpaint Journal

LIFE HACK

Stop drinking alcohol.

Sobriety is a superpower that everyone has access to.
​

Big love,
Chris x

Try my productivity drink Neutonic.
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PS
UK tour announcement coming soon my babies.