3MM: Criticism, Dads & Misinterpretations


3 MINUTE MONDAY

Hi friend,

I'm going on tour to Australia, New Zealand & Bali in March. Come see me.

It’s common wisdom to say “the only criticisms that hurt are the ones that are true.”

I don’t think that’s right.

The criticisms that hurt most are the ones that you know aren’t true, but that other people might believe.

The only thing worse than having your reputation damaged for something shameful you did is having it damaged for something shameful you didn’t do.

That’s wrongful conviction.

You have to carry the weight of the accusation alongside the indignation of being innocent. You’re not just hurt. You’re trapped.

In theory, it’s a wonderful idea to ignore the opinions of people who misjudge you.

If they don’t understand your message, why bother correcting them?

Why listen to people who don’t like you, don’t understand what you’re trying to do, don’t have your best interests at heart, and actively enjoy being malicious, bad-faith, or stupid?

Well… because sometimes they’re loud.

And sometimes other people hear them.

And sometimes those other people believe them.

The most accurate opinion of someone rarely defines them, the most viral one does.

So of course you feel enraged.

That reaction isn’t fragility.

It’s a rational response to the fear of being misrepresented in public.

MODERN WISDOM

I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.

This week’s upcoming episodes:

Monday.
HARDY - one of the biggest country artists and writers on the planet on surviving a tour bus crash, engineering emotion and the creative process. Listen now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Thursday.
Paul Rosalie - the world’s most famous junglekeeper on uncontacted tribes of the Amazon, being attacked by a stingray and how to survive Peruvian drug cartels.

Saturday.
Richard Shotton - what are the behavioural science tricks used by the world’s biggest companies to market their products? So so good.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED

1.
Modern dads might not be so deadbeat.

Millennial fathers spent only marginally less time caring for their children than Baby Boomer mothers of the same age.

2.
Your partner’s current life is your future life.

“When you select a partner, whether you realise it or not, you are choosing a whole lifestyle, and not just the person.

You're choosing their sleep schedule.

You're choosing their money habits.

You're choosing their stress levels, their family drama, their levels of cleanliness, their work ethic, their coping mechanisms.

All of these things will be a baseline of your daily life.

If their normal is doom scrolling till 2 a.m., avoiding all conflict, impulse spending and never exercising, guess what? You're signing up to live in that ecosystem.

Love does not cancel out people's flaws.

In fact, love just makes you tolerate them for longer.

Most people obsess over ‘do we have romantic chemistry?’

And they completely skip ‘can I live with this person's version of Tuesday every week for the next 10 years?’

The hard truth is, you don't fix somebody's lifestyle from the inside.

You either accept the package as they are or you walk.” — Mark Manson

3.
I am not what I am, I am what you mistake me for.

“Nothing gives you a clearer look into someone than how they misinterpret things; every misinterpretation is a confession.” —Dylan O’Sullivan

LIFE HACK

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Drinking LMNT Salt first thing in the morning is the way I’ve started my day for over 3 years now.

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I keep harping on about it because it really works.

Try it and feel the difference.

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Big love,
Chris x

Try my productivity drink Neutonic.
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PS
The new Austin studio is a few weeks away from being ready. I can't wait to show you what I've built!

3 Minute Monday

Podcaster with 1bn+ plays. I write about the most important lessons from the best thinkers on the planet. 300,000+ people read my free newsletter. Press subscribe to join.

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