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3MM: Criticism, Dads & Misinterpretations
3 MINUTE MONDAYHi friend, I'm going on tour to Australia, New Zealand & Bali in March. Come see me. It’s common wisdom to say “the only criticisms that hurt are the ones that are true.” I don’t think that’s right. The criticisms that hurt most are the ones that you know aren’t true, but that other people might believe. The only thing worse than having your reputation damaged for something shameful you did is having it damaged for something shameful you didn’t do. That’s wrongful conviction. You have to carry the weight of the accusation alongside the indignation of being innocent. You’re not just hurt. You’re trapped. In theory, it’s a wonderful idea to ignore the opinions of people who misjudge you. If they don’t understand your message, why bother correcting them? Why listen to people who don’t like you, don’t understand what you’re trying to do, don’t have your best interests at heart, and actively enjoy being malicious, bad-faith, or stupid? Well… because sometimes they’re loud. And sometimes other people hear them. And sometimes those other people believe them. The most accurate opinion of someone rarely defines them, the most viral one does. So of course you feel enraged. That reaction isn’t fragility. It’s a rational response to the fear of being misrepresented in public. MODERN WISDOMI do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday. Thursday. Saturday. THINGS I'VE LEARNED1. Millennial fathers spent only marginally less time caring for their children than Baby Boomer mothers of the same age. 2. “When you select a partner, whether you realise it or not, you are choosing a whole lifestyle, and not just the person. You're choosing their sleep schedule. You're choosing their money habits. You're choosing their stress levels, their family drama, their levels of cleanliness, their work ethic, their coping mechanisms. All of these things will be a baseline of your daily life. If their normal is doom scrolling till 2 a.m., avoiding all conflict, impulse spending and never exercising, guess what? You're signing up to live in that ecosystem. Love does not cancel out people's flaws. In fact, love just makes you tolerate them for longer. Most people obsess over ‘do we have romantic chemistry?’ And they completely skip ‘can I live with this person's version of Tuesday every week for the next 10 years?’ The hard truth is, you don't fix somebody's lifestyle from the inside. You either accept the package as they are or you walk.” — Mark Manson 3. “Nothing gives you a clearer look into someone than how they misinterpret things; every misinterpretation is a confession.” —Dylan O’Sullivan LIFE HACKYou might not need more caffeine or sleep, you might just be dehydrated. Proper hydration is not just about drinking fluids, it’s about having sufficient electrolytes in your body to actually use those fluids properly. Drinking LMNT Salt first thing in the morning is the way I’ve started my day for over 3 years now. It tastes delicious and contains zero sugar or any other junk. I keep harping on about it because it really works. Try it and feel the difference. And if you don’t like it for any reason, they offer an unlimited duration money-back guarantee where you don’t even need to return the box - so you can buy it 100% risk-free. Try LMNT risk-free with a free sample pack. (US only) Big love, Try my productivity drink Neutonic. PS |
3 Minute Monday
Podcaster with 1bn+ plays. I write about the most important lessons from the best thinkers on the planet. 300,000+ people read my free newsletter. Press subscribe to join.
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, I'm going on tour to Australia, New Zealand & Bali in March. Come see me. Discipline, motivation and obsession are three words that get thrown around a lot. I think most people misunderstand all three, and because of that they miss some very big lessons about how life actually works. Here’s the simplest way to separate them: Discipline is “I will make myself do the thing.”Motivation is “I want to do the thing.”Obsession is “I can’t not do the thing.” All three...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, I'm going on tour to Australia, New Zealand & Bali in March. Come see me. “Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.” The line comes from Hamlet, and it’s usually misheard as an insult. As if Shakespeare is sneering at morality - like ethics soften us, or thought drains courage from the body. That’s not what’s happening, Shakespeare isn’t attacking goodness, he’s pointing at self-awareness and naming its cost. In the “To be, or not to be” soliloquy, Hamlet isn’t...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, “I still find myself with this sense that success has to be earned. And the only way to earn it is to inflict pain on yourself. And if you’re not in pain you didn’t try hard enough. And it would have been better if you’d suffered more. And I think that’s a lie, and I want to find out if it’s a lie or if it’s true.” — Rich Roll I think it’s a lie too. One of the most common questions that got asked on tour was “How do I give myself credit for my accomplishments in...