3MM: Men, Marital Sex & Altitude


3 MINUTE MONDAY

Hi friend,

See me live this year in NYC, Boston, Denver, Austin, Salt Lake City & Chicago.

I’ve had a lot of conversations about masculinity on Modern Wisdom.

Publicly trying to work out why men are struggling is largely a thankless task.

This is The Zero-Sum View Of Empathy.

There is an assumption that any attention paid toward men takes it away from women, or some other minority group who is more-deserving.

After all, haven’t men had it good for long enough?

Maybe they should just suck it up for a while?

But empathy does not work this way, it’s not a limited resource.

Recognising the plights of men does not ignore the plights of women.

And ultimately women end up suffering in any case - as it’s this increasing cohort of apathetic, checked-out and resentful men who contribute to the exact lack of eligible partners that women say they are struggling with.

Women posting "boohoo poor patriarchy sad" whilst also complaining about "where are all the good men at?" is mating-logic seppuku.

If one sex loses, both sexes lose.

Male Blame is something else I see a lot.

A common question is why don’t men “just do better”? Surely they can just try harder in school, employment and health? "Chop chop men, hurry up and stop being so useless."

Well, no other group is told that when they suffer with poor performance or accolades in the real world that they should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

We don't tell any other group to 'talk about their problems', instead we spend billions in tax payer money and private charity; to set up committees, departments, campaigns and funds to solve the problem.

In simple terms, if a woman has a problem, we ask: "what can we do to fix society?" If a man has a problem, we ask: "what can men do to fix themselves?"

It's a blatant double standard, and people who are unwilling to admit to any structural disadvantages faced by men are standing in the way of us solving the problems that are hurting men, and also the potential wives they should be viable for.

The problems are not in men's head, but out there, in society – and we should not gaslight men into thinking they can solve these problems by being less toxically masculine.

If the patriarchy is so powerful, why aren't men flourishing more?

As Christine Emba says “Many young men feel their difficulties are often dismissed out of hand as whining from a patriarchy that they don’t feel a part of.
Just because you’re in the majority doesn’t mean you don’t need support.”

In this regard, modern men are being made to pay for the sins of the advantages that their fathers and grandfathers enjoyed.

MODERN WISDOM

I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent.

This week’s upcoming episodes:

Monday.
Dr Mike Israetel - the science of motivation and willpower. A really great masterclass on the underpinnings of how to keep going even when times are hard. Listen now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Thursday.
Adam Lane Smith - a series of uncomfortable lessons about men and masculinity. This will ruffle some feathers but I loved it.

Saturday.
3.7M Q&A - I answer questions on my new hairstyle, why I don’t own a dog and how to deal with regret of wasted time and potential.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED

1.
Married men and women disagree on how much sex to have.

Women typically believe their marriages have about the right frequency of sex, whereas men wished for more (twice as much) sex as they were having.

This suggests many couples adjust their sexual frequency to the lower rate of desire by the wife.” — Rob Henderson

2.
Planes fly at different altitudes based on the direction of travel.

In aviation, planes often follow specific altitude guidelines based on direction

Eastbound flights typically fly at odd-numbered altitudes like 31,000, 33,000, 35,000 feet.

Westbound flights typically fly at even-numbered altitudes like 30,000, 32,000, 34,000 feet

This helps reduce collision risks and maintains safe separation between aircraft flying in opposite directions.

3.
Why I like to quote other people.

Humans who are way smarter than me have already figured important stuff out, they just need more eyeballs on their insights.

LIFE HACK

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Big love,
Chris x

Try my productivity drink Neutonic.
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PS
You should go for more walks.

3 Minute Monday

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