3 MINUTE MONDAY

Hi friend,

I’ve been thinking about the difference between choosing to do a virtuous act, and being compelled by your nature.

I have a tendency to see other people’s emotional states as my responsibility.

If you’re not ok, then I’m not ok.

That someone else’s distress is a problem for me to solve.

A while ago I rang a friend to check in on them after an amicable debate.

I mentioned I wanted to make sure they were alright, they said of course.

I then started talking about wanting to dial back my people pleasing nature and this overbearing need to ensure everyone else is ok ahead of myself.

My friend stopped me and said “be careful getting rid of that, the fact you rang to check on me is exactly one of the reasons I love you as a friend. Don’t pathologise the kindest parts of your nature.”

But in many ways I didn’t CHOOSE to check in on them, I had to.

Is it virtuous to do a good thing if you didn’t have any other choice other than to do the good thing?

Well, the impact was good and positive so, kind of?

But there’s something about it being compelled and less effortful or conscious that seems to derogate the virtuosity.

So is it more virtuous to do a good thing if it took more effort? If it was harder to do something kind than to do something mean?

Which creates an interesting situation - if your nature compels you to do something good, is it more virtuous to purposefully deprogram that compulsion, making you objectively a worse friend for a while, to then reintroduce the same act but consciously?

That seems an unnecessarily effortful way to finally feel good about doing something kind for other people.

I have no answer here, interesting question though.

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MODERN WISDOM

I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
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This week’s upcoming episodes:

Monday.
Dr Mike Israetel - breaking down everything about the science of longevity. What are the biggest impacts on how long you live, how well you live, supplements, lifestyle, diet, training and everything else.

Thursday.
Lionel Page - my favourite new writer from this year gives an amazing breakdown of happiness, life satisfaction and meaning from an evolutionary psychology lens. Absolute slammer of an episode.

Saturday.
Michael Morris - tribalism is the world’s buzzword after 2024, but what is the science and psychology of tribalism? How does it work? What triggers and reduces it?

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THINGS I'VE LEARNED

1.
​Men aren’t seen as having problems, but as being the problem.

“Suicide rates among men under 30 have risen by 40 percent since 2010 and are four times higher than among young women.

Male suicide accounts for as many deaths as breast cancer.

Men are less likely than women to go to college or buy a home.

They are more likely to be lonely and are more vulnerable to addiction.

Young white men from lower-income homes are worse off than their fathers on almost every economic and social indicator.

There is a bigger gender gap on campuses today than in 1972 — when the government passed Title IX to prevent sex-based discrimination in education — but today the disparities in college enrolment and performance are the other way around.

There is no strong evidence that young men are turning against gender equality.

But they have turned away from the left because the left has turned away from them.

The problems of young men are not the confections of reactionaries.

This is a story of elite neglect, not voter chauvinism.

The Democrats have failed to address these issues.

Under the Biden administration, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has refused to acknowledge the gender disparity in suicide rates.

The White House gender policy council has not tackled a single issue facing primarily boys and men.

There have been initiatives to promote women in STEM and construction but nothing about encouraging men into teaching or mental health.

There are women’s health research initiatives but no Office on Men’s Health.

The Democrats and progressive institutions have a massive blind spot when it comes to male issues, and this was exposed in the election.

At worst, men are seen not as having problems but as being the problem.” — Richard Reeves

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2.
​Babies fall asleep faster when you walk while holding them.

A recent study found that half of babies fall asleep within 5 minutes using this method.

This “transport response” may have evolved to keep babies quiet if their caregiver spots a predator and needs to carry their baby away without being noticed. — Rob Henderson

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3.
​Make Enthusiasm Great Again.

“You can pretend you don’t have a choice, that you don’t have the time, brains, or resources to raise your game.

But then you’ve simply talked yourself into perpetual mediocrity.” — Tucker Max

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LIFE HACK

Buy protein on the road.

If you’re in a hotel for more than 7 days, just buy a good quality protein powder and a shaker.

You’re going to be piecing together random sandwiches and meat sticks trying to hit your protein goals, if you’re in the same location for a bit, just save yourself the pain and go straight to the source.
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Big love,
Chris x

Try my productivity drink Neutonic.
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PS
Still can't believe the show on Thursday. Thank you so much to everyone who came out.