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3MM: Support, Sex & Sheep
3 MINUTE MONDAYHi friend, Some advice on how to support men. Men want to aim high without feeling insufficient if they fall short. Men want their suffering to be recognised and appreciated without being pandered to or patronised and made to feel weak. Men want to believe that they can be more without feeling like they’re not enough already. Men want to be able to open up without being judged. Men want support without feeling broken. Men want to be loved for who they are not for what they do. TLDR: Blending inspiration with compassion is not an easy task. “How do I set lofty goals which drive me to fulfil my potential without feeling less-than if I don’t get there tomorrow?” — every guy ever. The desire for self-love and high performance come into conflict inside the mind of everyone, men especially. Sure, some men are all drive and goals with non-introspection. And sure, some men are all reflection and inner work with few external desires. But most men desire a mix of encouraged self-belief and understanding support. Inevitably, these two things come into conflict. Basically every man just wants to hear:
“I know you can be more, but you are enough already and even if you just stay where you are, I’ll be right here next to you.
You’re going to be great, but you don’t need to be great, and I’m with you no matter what.”
Or, as said best by Sturgill Simpson’s mum… “Boy I don’t care if you hit it big because you’re already number one.” — Sturgill Simpson MODERN WISDOMI do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday. Thursday. Saturday. THINGS I'VE LEARNED1. “The table below shows the average happiness levels associated with various common activities. Among other interesting findings, we see that people are happiest when they’re having sex, and least happy when they’re sick in bed. Thus, our beds play host to some of the best and worst moments of our lives.” — Steve Stewart-Williams 2. “It’s funny how many people think they are “non-conformist” when they are really just strict ideological adherents to a niche dogma. It’s kind of like a cult member thinking they are “non-conformist” because their cult is small. They are actually highly conformist - real “NPCs” if you will - they are just conforming to a fringe.” — Alexander DatePsych 3. “Letting go is not a one time event.” — Yung Pueblo LIFE HACKWatch Netflix with subtitles on if you keep getting distracted. If you’re struggling to stay focussed on just relaxing and watching a show rather than double-screening with emails and slack and social media, put subtitles on to capture your attention more. Personally, this totally ruins a show for me and turns every TV series into a kind of read-along audiobook but at least I’m locked in. Big love, Try my productivity drink Neutonic. PS |
3 Minute Monday
Podcaster with 1bn+ plays. I write about the most important lessons from the best thinkers on the planet. 300,000+ people read my free newsletter. Press subscribe to join.
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, A friend did a mushroom trip and a question came to him: “Do people love you for who you are or for what you do?” This is uncomfortable to consider. People loving us for who we are feels more real, genuine, caring, empathetic and robust. It feels like it’s less fickle and more difficult to lose. On the other hand, people loving us for what we do feels transactional and transient. The love we receive becomes contingent on what achievements and successes we can offer...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, I put a vlog out last week about my trip to record with Rogan & Naval. It's pretty beautiful. In other news, Waymo the driverless taxi service has come to Austin. I’ve found over the last few weeks that a Waymo which says it’s 7 minutes away regularly takes 15 minutes to get to me. It wasn’t getting lost or taking wrong turns, it just seemed to be moving unusually slowly around pedestrianised areas and junctions. I’ve realised that Waymo is totally cucked and has...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, Toxic Compassion is the prioritisation of short term emotional comfort over everything else. Over truth, reality, actual long-term outcomes, flourishing, everything. It optimises for looking good, rather than doing good. This is seen in much of popular culture as the desirable, fair, empathetic thing to do. And it’s everywhere. People would rather claim that body fat has no bearing on health and mortality outcomes to avoid making overweight individuals feel upset....