3MM: Support, Sex & Sheep


3 MINUTE MONDAY

Hi friend,

Some advice on how to support men.

Men want to aim high without feeling insufficient if they fall short.

Men want their suffering to be recognised and appreciated without being pandered to or patronised and made to feel weak.

Men want to believe that they can be more without feeling like they’re not enough already.

Men want to be able to open up without being judged.

Men want support without feeling broken.

Men want to be loved for who they are not for what they do.

TLDR: Blending inspiration with compassion is not an easy task.

“How do I set lofty goals which drive me to fulfil my potential without feeling less-than if I don’t get there tomorrow?” — every guy ever.

The desire for self-love and high performance come into conflict inside the mind of everyone, men especially.

Sure, some men are all drive and goals with non-introspection.

And sure, some men are all reflection and inner work with few external desires.

But most men desire a mix of encouraged self-belief and understanding support.

Inevitably, these two things come into conflict.

Basically every man just wants to hear:
“I know you can be more, but you are enough already and even if you just stay where you are, I’ll be right here next to you.
You’re going to be great, but you don’t need to be great, and I’m with you no matter what.”

Or, as said best by Sturgill Simpson’s mum…

“Boy I don’t care if you hit it big because you’re already number one.” — Sturgill Simpson

MODERN WISDOM

I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

This week’s upcoming episodes:

Monday.
Dr Julie Smith - how to love yourself more, the science of letting go of your past, why we struggle to treat ourselves as kindly as we do to our friends and how can you make your inner voice more gentle.

Thursday.
Louise Perry - what are Bonnie Blue and Lily Philips teaching us about the challenges modern women are trying to navigate, why is population collapse a Right Wing talking point and where are all the good female role models at?

Saturday.
Brigham Buhler - a fascinating breakdown of the American healthcare system and all its faults. Who is responsible, who is benefitting from a sick society and can RFK fix the system?

THINGS I'VE LEARNED

1.
Sex is good for happiness.

“The table below shows the average happiness levels associated with various common activities.

Among other interesting findings, we see that people are happiest when they’re having sex, and least happy when they’re sick in bed.

Thus, our beds play host to some of the best and worst moments of our lives.” — Steve Stewart-Williams

2.
Being a black sheep is still being a sheep.

“It’s funny how many people think they are “non-conformist” when they are really just strict ideological adherents to a niche dogma.

It’s kind of like a cult member thinking they are “non-conformist” because their cult is small.

They are actually highly conformist - real “NPCs” if you will - they are just conforming to a fringe.” — Alexander DatePsych

3.
Mindfulness is an every day task.

“Letting go is not a one time event.” — Yung Pueblo

LIFE HACK

Watch Netflix with subtitles on if you keep getting distracted.

If you’re struggling to stay focussed on just relaxing and watching a show rather than double-screening with emails and slack and social media, put subtitles on to capture your attention more.

Personally, this totally ruins a show for me and turns every TV series into a kind of read-along audiobook but at least I’m locked in.

Big love,
Chris x

Try my productivity drink Neutonic.
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3 Minute Monday

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