3 MINUTE MONDAYHi friend, Some advice on how to support men. Men want to aim high without feeling insufficient if they fall short. Men want their suffering to be recognised and appreciated without being pandered to or patronised and made to feel weak. Men want to believe that they can be more without feeling like they’re not enough already. Men want to be able to open up without being judged. Men want support without feeling broken. Men want to be loved for who they are not for what they do. TLDR: Blending inspiration with compassion is not an easy task. “How do I set lofty goals which drive me to fulfil my potential without feeling less-than if I don’t get there tomorrow?” — every guy ever. The desire for self-love and high performance come into conflict inside the mind of everyone, men especially. Sure, some men are all drive and goals with non-introspection. And sure, some men are all reflection and inner work with few external desires. But most men desire a mix of encouraged self-belief and understanding support. Inevitably, these two things come into conflict. Basically every man just wants to hear:
“I know you can be more, but you are enough already and even if you just stay where you are, I’ll be right here next to you.
You’re going to be great, but you don’t need to be great, and I’m with you no matter what.”
Or, as said best by Sturgill Simpson’s mum… “Boy I don’t care if you hit it big because you’re already number one.” — Sturgill Simpson MODERN WISDOMI do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday. Thursday. Saturday. THINGS I'VE LEARNED1. “The table below shows the average happiness levels associated with various common activities. Among other interesting findings, we see that people are happiest when they’re having sex, and least happy when they’re sick in bed. Thus, our beds play host to some of the best and worst moments of our lives.” — Steve Stewart-Williams 2. “It’s funny how many people think they are “non-conformist” when they are really just strict ideological adherents to a niche dogma. It’s kind of like a cult member thinking they are “non-conformist” because their cult is small. They are actually highly conformist - real “NPCs” if you will - they are just conforming to a fringe.” — Alexander DatePsych 3. “Letting go is not a one time event.” — Yung Pueblo LIFE HACKWatch Netflix with subtitles on if you keep getting distracted. If you’re struggling to stay focussed on just relaxing and watching a show rather than double-screening with emails and slack and social media, put subtitles on to capture your attention more. Personally, this totally ruins a show for me and turns every TV series into a kind of read-along audiobook but at least I’m locked in. Big love, Try my productivity drink Neutonic. PS |
Podcaster with 1bn+ plays. I write about the most important lessons from the best thinkers on the planet. 300,000+ people read my free newsletter. Press subscribe to join.
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, “I still find myself with this sense that success has to be earned. And the only way to earn it is to inflict pain on yourself. And if you’re not in pain you didn’t try hard enough. And it would have been better if you’d suffered more. And I think that’s a lie, and I want to find out if it’s a lie or if it’s true.” — Rich Roll I think it’s a lie too. One of the most common questions that got asked on tour was “How do I give myself credit for my accomplishments in...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, It's nearly the end of the year, you should do a review process. My End Of Year Review framework has been downloaded by 100,000 people and is totally free. Enjoy x This time of year can be tough. Downtime from busyness, overwhelm from family and melancholy from reflection can create the perfect storm for overthinking. So here’s 20 Sentences to Stop Overthinking by Nir Eyal. Use these one-liners as mantras when your brain won't switch off. I don't need certainty to...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, You should do an end of year review - it’s the one time of the year that’s culturally appropriate to fully focus on reflection. My favourite free end of year review process is here. Enjoy x Below is a list of the Top 15 most played episodes on audio of 2025. Perhaps unsurprisingly, that epic Naval episode came in at #1, it's so so good. Gonna have to do something special to beat that in 2026. It’s great to see such a range of topics performing well, I love how...