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3MM: Support, Sex & Sheep
3 MINUTE MONDAYHi friend, Some advice on how to support men. Men want to aim high without feeling insufficient if they fall short. Men want their suffering to be recognised and appreciated without being pandered to or patronised and made to feel weak. Men want to believe that they can be more without feeling like they’re not enough already. Men want to be able to open up without being judged. Men want support without feeling broken. Men want to be loved for who they are not for what they do. TLDR: Blending inspiration with compassion is not an easy task. “How do I set lofty goals which drive me to fulfil my potential without feeling less-than if I don’t get there tomorrow?” — every guy ever. The desire for self-love and high performance come into conflict inside the mind of everyone, men especially. Sure, some men are all drive and goals with non-introspection. And sure, some men are all reflection and inner work with few external desires. But most men desire a mix of encouraged self-belief and understanding support. Inevitably, these two things come into conflict. Basically every man just wants to hear:
“I know you can be more, but you are enough already and even if you just stay where you are, I’ll be right here next to you.
You’re going to be great, but you don’t need to be great, and I’m with you no matter what.”
Or, as said best by Sturgill Simpson’s mum… “Boy I don’t care if you hit it big because you’re already number one.” — Sturgill Simpson MODERN WISDOMI do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday. Thursday. Saturday. THINGS I'VE LEARNED1. “The table below shows the average happiness levels associated with various common activities. Among other interesting findings, we see that people are happiest when they’re having sex, and least happy when they’re sick in bed. Thus, our beds play host to some of the best and worst moments of our lives.” — Steve Stewart-Williams 2. “It’s funny how many people think they are “non-conformist” when they are really just strict ideological adherents to a niche dogma. It’s kind of like a cult member thinking they are “non-conformist” because their cult is small. They are actually highly conformist - real “NPCs” if you will - they are just conforming to a fringe.” — Alexander DatePsych 3. “Letting go is not a one time event.” — Yung Pueblo LIFE HACKWatch Netflix with subtitles on if you keep getting distracted. If you’re struggling to stay focussed on just relaxing and watching a show rather than double-screening with emails and slack and social media, put subtitles on to capture your attention more. Personally, this totally ruins a show for me and turns every TV series into a kind of read-along audiobook but at least I’m locked in. Big love, Try my productivity drink Neutonic. PS |
3 Minute Monday
Podcaster with 1bn+ plays. I write about the most important lessons from the best thinkers on the planet. 300,000+ people read my free newsletter. Press subscribe to join.
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, It is a sad fact that it’s more socially acceptable to be your own biggest critic rather than your own biggest cheerleader. This creates a fertile environment for external criticism to make you doubt yourself more than it should. Here are some strategies you may have used to try and avoid the pain of criticism with varying degrees of success: Get bitter and think of any critic as a hater just throwing envy and shade; recite the quote “Don’t take criticism from...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, “20 years from now you’d give anything to be this exact age, exactly this healthy, in this exact moment. Take a second to enjoy it.” — Richard Webster We trade the thing we want (time) for the thing which is supposed to get it (money). We give up time to make money so that we can finally have more time when we have enough money. We give up happiness to achieve success so that we can finally enjoy happiness when we achieve enough success. “However much you feel you...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, “Dopamine is not about the pursuit of happiness, it is about the happiness of pursuit.” — Dr Robert Sapolsky So true. So much of life and enjoyment is about the anticipation of things coming. In fact, the anticipation is often actually more enjoyable than the experience itself. Tim Ferriss used to book week-long holidays years and years in advance so he could get as much enjoyment out of the anticipation as possible. This puts a new perspective on “it’s not the...