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3MM: Support, Sex & Sheep
3 MINUTE MONDAYHi friend, Some advice on how to support men. Men want to aim high without feeling insufficient if they fall short. Men want their suffering to be recognised and appreciated without being pandered to or patronised and made to feel weak. Men want to believe that they can be more without feeling like they’re not enough already. Men want to be able to open up without being judged. Men want support without feeling broken. Men want to be loved for who they are not for what they do. TLDR: Blending inspiration with compassion is not an easy task. “How do I set lofty goals which drive me to fulfil my potential without feeling less-than if I don’t get there tomorrow?” — every guy ever. The desire for self-love and high performance come into conflict inside the mind of everyone, men especially. Sure, some men are all drive and goals with non-introspection. And sure, some men are all reflection and inner work with few external desires. But most men desire a mix of encouraged self-belief and understanding support. Inevitably, these two things come into conflict. Basically every man just wants to hear:
“I know you can be more, but you are enough already and even if you just stay where you are, I’ll be right here next to you.
You’re going to be great, but you don’t need to be great, and I’m with you no matter what.”
Or, as said best by Sturgill Simpson’s mum… “Boy I don’t care if you hit it big because you’re already number one.” — Sturgill Simpson MODERN WISDOMI do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday. Thursday. Saturday. THINGS I'VE LEARNED1. “The table below shows the average happiness levels associated with various common activities. Among other interesting findings, we see that people are happiest when they’re having sex, and least happy when they’re sick in bed. Thus, our beds play host to some of the best and worst moments of our lives.” — Steve Stewart-Williams 2. “It’s funny how many people think they are “non-conformist” when they are really just strict ideological adherents to a niche dogma. It’s kind of like a cult member thinking they are “non-conformist” because their cult is small. They are actually highly conformist - real “NPCs” if you will - they are just conforming to a fringe.” — Alexander DatePsych 3. “Letting go is not a one time event.” — Yung Pueblo LIFE HACKWatch Netflix with subtitles on if you keep getting distracted. If you’re struggling to stay focussed on just relaxing and watching a show rather than double-screening with emails and slack and social media, put subtitles on to capture your attention more. Personally, this totally ruins a show for me and turns every TV series into a kind of read-along audiobook but at least I’m locked in. Big love, Try my productivity drink Neutonic. PS |
3 Minute Monday
Podcaster with 1bn+ plays. I write about the most important lessons from the best thinkers on the planet. 300,000+ people read my free newsletter. Press subscribe to join.
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, The brand new Modern Wisdom Reading List Vol. 2 is live, featuring 100 more books to read before you die. Download it now - https://chriswillx.com/morebooks/ I saw a comment on one of my videos this week that really struck me. I wish I could remember who posted it but I can’t. Thank you for inspiring this essay <3 “Why is it that when I mess up it’s my fault but when other people mess up it’s also my fault?” Let’s call this The Atlas Complex. If you care too much...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, We live with a quiet superstition: that beneath the noise of our habits, mistakes and contradictions lies a truer version of ourselves - a self that is fundamentally good. An alcoholic who gets sober is “becoming who he really is”, a sober man who starts drinking again has “lost his way.” In Scrooge, Dickens didn’t just write about a man who swapped stinginess for generosity; he wrote about a man who discovered his real nature. When Richard Nixon fell in disgrace,...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, Humans have an asymmetry of errors. We over-index exceptions - we use things that break the pattern we’ve come to expect as a serious learning opportunity. But we tend to only learn much faster from errors of commission (things we do), not errors of omission (things we don’t do). You only learn the sting of misplaced trust when someone betrays you, but when you refuse to trust and miss out on love, partnership, or help, the loss leaves no scar to remind you. It’s...