3 MINUTE MONDAY

Hi friend,

Here’s how to get Stoicism wrong:

1. Become emotionally immune to your successes but castigate yourself for your failures.

This is Reverse Stoicism.

It bestows all the downsides of indifference to your wins without any of the upsides of being immune to your losses.

I think it's how many people operate - forgetting the victories but remembering the shortcomings.

Reverse Stoicism is worse than no Stoicism at all.

2. Use it exclusively to benefit yourself.

Stoicism was not designed as a way to feel noble in narcissistic self-obsessed development and isolation.

The Stoics were expressly developing themselves to then become useful to other people.

Sure, it’s a powerful personal philosophy, but the Stoics built themselves up to then be able to help the world around them better, not as a veneer for the solo accumulation of power.

3. Use it to not feel guilt when you selfishly screw other people over.

A narcissistic blend of 1 & 2.

Becoming obsessed with only ever putting yourself first and then justifying feeling emotionally unaffected when others are impacted by your selfishness is not being a heroic sigma male Aurelius lone wolf, it's being a dick.

Cultivating Stoic Psychopathy is not what Zeno had in mind.

MODERN WISDOM

I do a podcast which has had 550 million+ downloads. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

This week’s upcoming episodes:

Monday.
Steve Stewart-Williams - my favourite Evolutionary Psychology author on some of the best insights into sex differences, human mate preferences, gender equality and so much more. Don’t miss this.

Thursday.
Bessel van der Kolk - author of the multi-million best seller The Body Keeps The Score on how your childhood affects the rest of your life, how to overcome trauma without drugs and how to be more self-compassionate.

Saturday.
Mo Gawdat - insights on how to master your stress, beat burnout and identify the areas of your life that are causing you unseen challenges.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED

1.
Call Me Daddy: Men’s long-term desirability is influenced by their intention for fatherhood.

A study was conducted to determine conditions that modify a man’s desirability.

267 women evaluated men depicted in silhouetted images who varied in terms of their intentions for fatherhood and relationship history.

Results showed that a man’s desirability as a long term mate was enhanced if he wished to become a father, and/or if he had a previous relationship experience, indicating he had been formerly chosen or preferred.

So instead of flexing a watch or car or abs, perhaps it would be advisable to focus on signalling that you’d be a good future father instead, I bet there's more Rolex Profiles than there are Good Dad Profiles on Tinder.

2.
Most people are useless.

“A small percentage of workers in an organisation or field are responsible for the bulk of the output.

The top 10% of the most prolific elite can be credited with 50% of all contributions, whereas the bottom 50% of least productive workers contribute only 15%.

The most productive contributor is, on average, about 100 times more prolific than the least.” — Rob Henderson

3.
Happiness is reality minus expectations.

“In a culture that glorifies endless acquisition, declaring 'I'm satisfied' is revolutionary.

Happiness isn't a higher salary but finding peace with where you are.

When was the last time you felt you had enough?” — SleepMoneyMaker