3 MINUTE MONDAYHi friend, “Neediness occurs when you place a higher priority on what others think of you than what you think of yourself.
Any time you alter your words or behaviour to fit someone else’s needs rather than your own, that is needy.
Any time you lie about your interests, hobbies, or background, that is needy.
Any time you pursue a goal to impress others rather than fulfil yourself, that is needy.
Whereas most people focus on what behaviour is attractive/unattractive, what determines neediness (and therefore, attractiveness) is the why behind your behaviour.
You can say the coolest thing or do what everyone else does, but if you do it for the wrong reason, it will come off as needy and desperate and turn people off.” — Mark Manson
Turning people off is definitely not optimal. I like turning people on as much as the next guy. But there’s an even bigger price to be paid here - your own self-worth. Imagine a world in which you’re unanimously adored by millions, but you hate yourself. Are you happy? Is it worth it? Now imagine a world where you’re disliked by everybody, but you love yourself. I propose that self-love-you would be happier. Because ultimately, in some taoist, roundabout way, the reason we want validation from others is to give us a good enough reason to validate ourselves. If you compromise yourself in order to gain favour with other people, you’ll know. Even if you think you’re not keeping score, your subconscious is. And given that you’re the sort of person who listens to Modern Wisdom, you probably keep score a lot more accurately than is typical. How do you expect to have faith in yourself if you can’t even keep your own word? Here’s the problem. We sacrifice the thing we want (self worth) for the thing which is supposed to get it (validation). Prioritise yourself. MODERN WISDOMI do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday. Thursday. Saturday. THINGS I'VE LEARNED1. - If someone told you you’re a lot like your partner, would this be a compliment to you? - Are you truly fulfilled or just less lonely? - Are you able to be unapologetically yourself or do you feel the need to show up differently to please your partner? - Are you in love with who your partner is right now as a whole, or are you only in love with their good side, their potential, or the idea of them? - Would you want your future/imagined child to date someone like your partner? — h/t Reddit 2. “It doesn’t make sense to continue wanting something if you’re not willing to do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to life the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result but not the process is to guarantee disappointment.” — James Clear 3. “If you find a girl who believes in your dreams more than you do, who makes you want to be a better man, who’s willing to work alongside you to get there and is grateful for whatever you have - just marry her.” — Alex Hormozi LIFE HACKYou might not need more caffeine or sleep, you might just be dehydrated. The more I learn about the role of salt and electrolytes in alertness, energy and function, the more certain I am that this is going to be one of the next big health revolutions. Proper hydration is not just about drinking fluids, it’s about having sufficient electrolytes in your body to actually use those fluids properly. Drinking LMNT Salt first thing in the morning is a great way to ensure this is dialled in. It tastes delicious and contains zero sugar or any other junk. I keep harping on about it because I use it every day and immediately feel the difference. And if you don’t like it for any reason, they offer an unlimited duration money-back guarantee where you don’t even need to return the box, so you can buy it 100% risk-free. Try LMNT Risk-Free with a free sample pack. (US only) Big love, Try my productivity drink Neutonic. PS |
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