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3MM: Monk Mode, Students & Hard Things
3 MINUTE MONDAYHi friend, I’ve been thinking about The Dark Side Of Monk Mode. Monk Mode has grown to huge popularity over the last few years as a self-improvement strategy, especially for men. It’s a retreat from the world to focus on the 3 I’s - Introspection, Isolation and Improvement. Despite its recent ascendence, it is nothing new, Illimitable Man was writing about this back in 2014: “Monk mode is a temporary form of MGTOW, by cutting yourself off from the rest of the world for a while you can fine-tune your focus, calibrate your direction and confront yourself.
You’ll be acknowledging your weaknesses and then formulating a plan of action to deal with them.”
The focus is on “minimising your time contribution to social obligations and junk activities because these consume much of your time whilst yielding little to negligible increase towards your social market value.
Monk mode is a serious commitment that is not to be half-assed.
You’re either doing it, or you’re not.
It’ll be a struggle in the beginning, but once you’re fully engaged it becomes a beneficial, productive and dare I say even addictive lifestyle.”
I have gone full Monk Mode a number of times in my life, with great success. 2017, 2018, then mid-2019 basically straight through Covid until 2021. I’ve cut out alcohol for over 2000 days in the last 8 years. Gone 500 days without caffeine. 1500+ sessions of meditation. 5+ years of daily journals filled, 300+ sessions of yin yoga, probably 500+ hours of Stu McGill’s Big 3. All done in a bedroom in Newcastle Upon Tyne UK, sat, on my own, usually first thing in the morning. Almost all of the most important progress I have ever made was facilitated by a concentrated period like this. However, Monk Mode’s reliable effectiveness creates a problem. The dark side is the final two words from IM’s breakdown above… “Addictive lifestyle.” The problem is that Monk Mode justifies a retreat from life, risk taking and adventure as self development. It makes you feel noble in isolation. So much so that it can become hard to bring yourself back out. This means that if you already have a tendency to live a sheltered, unsocial life, you’re encouraging yourself to abscond even further away from ever building a real-life support network - the thing which you actually need most in the long run. I saw this in a friend over a decade ago who was on a fitness journey. He was already introverted and socially shy, then his upcoming fitness competition justified 8pm bedtimes, militant routines and the rejection of all social invites. The competition came and went, but the routine didn’t change. It took years for him to re-venture out into some sense of normality. This is largely a personal reflection too. The allure of perpetually working on yourself is high. Improvement is rewarding. But if you’re not careful, you can spend the rest of your life focussed on the 3 I’s at the expense of the actual reason you did Monk Mode in the first place - to be able to show up in the world in a better way. Bill Perkins says that “delayed gratification in the extreme results in no gratification”. With Monk Mode, you practise in private so you can perform in public. Private practise in the extreme results in no public performance. TLDR: Don’t obsess for too long in solitude for personal growth or you’ll struggle to reintegrate. Solution: Periodise. Set a deadline for your Monk Mode to end. 3-6 months is a sweet spot in my experience. Do longer if you’ve not done it before, shorter if you’re further along your journey. MODERN WISDOMI do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday. Thursday. Saturday. THINGS I'VE LEARNED1. 65% of college students believe professors should be required to make statements in support of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion as a condition of employment. 46% agree that opinions they find offensive from fellow students should be reported to administrators. 46% agreed that if one student claims that another student made an insensitive remark, the student who is alleged to have made the remark should have to attend sensitivity training or undergo some type of re-education regardless of whether the allegation has been proven. 45% of students surveyed agree that if someone is using hate speech or making racially charged comments, physical violence can be justified to prevent that person from espousing their hateful views. 44% “cannot bring [themselves] to being close friends with someone who affiliates with a different political party.” — h/t Rob Henderson & The Buckley Institute 2. Being in an aggressively terrible working cadence or environment but having such a tolerance for discomfort that you can endure it for a lifetime. Lower resilience, less stubborn people would snap and have to find a way to change but not you, you’re the David Goggins of working hard. Who’s going to carry the workload? You are. Forever. 3. “We are working to build something important, something that matters to our customers, something that we can all tell our grandchildren about. Such things aren’t meant to be easy.” — Jeff Bezos, Amazon shareholder letter 1997 LIFE HACKRemove the YouTube Shorts Shelf. Go onto YouTube on desktop, find the Shorts Shelf, press the X on the right hand side. Shorts are now hidden from your home feed for 30 days. Set a reminder to do it every month. No more Shorts. Big love, Try my productivity drink Neutonic. PS |
3 Minute Monday
Podcaster with 1bn+ plays. I write about the most important lessons from the best thinkers on the planet. 300,000+ people read my free newsletter. Press subscribe to join.
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