3 MINUTE MONDAYHi friend, It is a sad fact that it’s more socially acceptable to be your own biggest critic rather than your own biggest cheerleader. This creates a fertile environment for external criticism to make you doubt yourself more than it should. Here are some strategies you may have used to try and avoid the pain of criticism with varying degrees of success:
You can create all the life-history-informed explanations you want about feeling left out as a kid, needing to be perfect for your parents to notice you, a pervasive fear of being in trouble but not knowing why, anxious attachment, codependency, inferiority complexes, whatever. But in reality, you probably just really want to be accepted and have people like you. And when that gets threatened, it doesn’t feel very nice. It’s common wisdom to say “the only criticisms that sting are the ones that are true”. I disagree. I think we feel even more indignant about criticisms which aren’t true but that people may believe. The only thing worse than having your reputation risked for something shameful you did is having your reputation risked for something shameful you didn’t do. Which explains why it’s so hard to stop caring about people misjudging you. Why on earth would you listen to the opinions of people who don’t like you, don’t understand what you’re trying to achieve, don’t have your best interests at heart and actively enjoy being mean? Because other people might believe their misjudgements. So… go gentle with yourself when dealing with criticism. It's tough. And if your confidence has been hard-won, try to protect it appropriately. MODERN WISDOMI do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday. Thursday. Saturday. THINGS I'VE LEARNED1. “If you are looking for a happy and long-term romance, pick a partner with high levels of agreeableness and conscientiousness. These traits are associated with longer and happier marriages. Men and women high in conscientiousness tend to be more faithful.” — Rob Henderson 2. “Human minds will discard inconvenient facts if they don’t make them feel better. Being correct barely wins minds, and it never wins hearts.” 3. “The greatest trick the devil ever played was making you believe that the pessimists are the good guys.” — Packy McCormick LIFE HACKKettle and Fire Bone Broth. I’m addicted to this stuff. 19 grams of protein, tastes amazing, 100% organic. It’s the #1 selling bone broth in the US with 50,000 5-star reviews and millions of happy customers. Best of all, they offer a 30-day money-back guarantee, so you can buy it and try it for 29 days and if you don’t love it, they’ll give you your money back. Plus, they ship to the US and Canada. 20% off with MODERNWISDOM Shop the best bone broth on earth.http://kettleandfire.com/modernwisdom Big love, Try my productivity drink Neutonic. PS |
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