3 MINUTE MONDAY

Hi friend,

See me live in London on Thursday 28th November - https://chriswilliamson.live/london​

See me live in Australia! Brisbane sold out, Melbourne 8th & Sydney 9th November - https://chriswilliamson.live/australia​

Question: How much should you care about things?

Answer: I’m unsure exactly but I know that it’s not “the absolute maximum amount, all the time, for everything”.

A classic insecure overachiever struggles to correctly distinguish between the small number of areas in life which require every ounce of your vigilance and attention bringing to bear on them, and the ones that don’t.

Not everything is a life or death situation.

You don’t need to optimise or win or perfect every area.

I was reminded of this when I made myself pass out during a breathwork class a few months ago because I figured that “if 2 minute breath holds are good, then 3 minute holds must be even better so I’ll do that and win”.

Win what?

All I won was a concerned look from the teacher as she peered over me, bringing me back round.

Stop worrying about doing everything perfectly.

Especially things you’re supposed to be doing to relax like meditation or hobbies.

In the process of trying to be perfect you’re thoroughly ruining the enjoyment of whatever you’re supposed to be enjoying by turning leisure into labour.

Don’t forget - you are not fixing a problem.

There is no problem to be fixed.

There is no doing this wrong.

MODERN WISDOM

I do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
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This week’s upcoming episodes:

Monday.
Ryan Long - one of my favourite super smart comedian friends on companies stopping DEI efforts, Trump having his own bible and the masculinity vote.

Thursday.
George from TheTinMen - is Movember actually helping men’s issues? Why is advocating for men so unpopular? Can feminism and men’s advocates ever work together?

Saturday.
Ana Kasparian - the co-host of The Young Turks on why she feels politically homeless, why do so many people seem to slide from Left to Right and why no one is ever pure enough to be accepted.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED

1.
​The Divorce Mystery.

Why do so many people divorce someone they thought was their favourite person?

It's not really a mystery: it's mostly because good times are a poor predictor of how you'll handle bad times.

And handling bad times is much more important to the success of a marriage.

But as a species, as a culture, we have not truly internalised this. — h/t Visakan Veerasamy

2.
​Men need to accumulate sufficient Man Points before they can open up about their feelings.

It feels like men have to “earn” the right to talk about their emotions.

Chris Bumstead can talk about crying and fear and insecurities - but only because he’s the greatest bodybuilder of his era and a 6 time champion.

Only men who have achieved some degree of success in typical masculine pursuits like status, resources, attractiveness, muscularity and strength can open up about emotions with credibility.

Once they’ve accumulated sufficient Man Points, some unspoken video game level unlock happens where emotions are allowed.

But opening up before having the requisite Man Points is interpreted as feeble and weak.

The world still has many icks around men showing their emotions, but far fewer if it comes from a place of prestige than one of poverty.

3.
​Don’t glorify 1900’s mental resilience.

Our grandparents’ generation didn’t deal with their trauma that much more effectively than modern victimhood addicts, they just passed it on to their kids instead.

How many boomers are still holding on to grudges from incidents 30 years ago?

How many never emotionally worked through their crappy childhood?

Or can’t move on from their first divorce?

I’m not sure there is nobility in denial.

One generation just ignored it, the next generation inherited it, and this one medicated it.

LIFE HACK

Post-it Notes to remind you of gratitude.

Gratitude is hard.

Write the things you want to remind yourself of on notes and stick them to your door and mirror.

Has been the most reliable way to reinforce Moments Of Peace throughout my day.
​

Big love,
Chris x

Try my productivity drink Neutonic.
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PS
I fly to Australia this Friday! 23 hours of travel. See you soon Aussies.