Podcaster with 1bn+ plays. I write about the most important lessons from the best thinkers on the planet. 300,000+ people read my free newsletter. Press subscribe to join.
3MM: Bad Things, Conspiracies & Relationships
3 MINUTE MONDAYHi friend, See me at my London Live Show on Thursday 28th November at the Eventim Apollo - General Tickets still available! https://chriswilliamson.live/london 3 weeks until Australia! Brisbane 6th, Melbourne 8th & Sydney 9th November - General Tickets still available! https://chriswilliamson.live/australia I recently learned about The Fading Affect Bias. The goodness and badness of memories fade over time, but the badness fades faster. Some bad memories even become good memories, while good memories rarely become bad memories. It makes sense that both joy and pain fade with time—stuff just feels less intense when it's farther away—but why does pain fade faster? It’s because when bad stuff happens to us, our psychological immune systems turn on. We start to rationalise (“Why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me?”), downplay (“Breakups happen all the time in high school, it’s no big deal”), distance (“I never liked her that much anyway!”) and distract (“I’m gonna go play video games”). These mental processes function like emotional antibodies, taking the sting out of bad memories. We don’t use them on good memories, so good memories keep their lustre longer. Everything is temporary, bad stuff especially. “Tragedy + time = comedy" is the closest thing psychology has to a chemical equation. — Adam Mastroianni So even when things are going badly, know that in future you’ll probably be able to laugh about this. Discomfort in the present can be very painful, don’t make it worse by fearing how you’ll feel about it in the future, you’ll be fine. MODERN WISDOMI do a podcast where I pretend to have a British accent. You should subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. This week’s upcoming episodes: Monday. Thursday. Saturday. THINGS I'VE LEARNED1. “If male suicide in America had happened at the same rate as female suicide, half a million fewer men would have died since 1999.” — Richard Reeves 2. New research presents causal evidence that conspiracy beliefs can damage relationships. The study found that when one person expresses conspiracy beliefs, relationship satisfaction decreases, offering proof that the endorsement of conspiracy theories can impact the quality of interpersonal connections. Participants reported significantly lower relationship satisfaction with the person they perceived to hold conspiracy beliefs, compared to the non-believer. Additionally, participants felt less attitudinal and relational closeness with the conspiracy believer, suggesting that differences in attitudes, especially related to conspiracy theories, might strain relationships. An important finding was that the degree of this effect depended on the participants’ own conspiracy beliefs: the effect is mitigated if both individuals hold similar beliefs. — h/t Journal of Applied Social Psychology 3. “Painful lesson over the past ~20 years of relationships: in the medium run it’s exciting to feel hype about people who seem to relate strongly in specific ways, but in long run it’s really how you handle misunderstandings, conflict, confusion, disagreement that go the distance” — Visakan Veerasamy LIFE HACKChoose window seats on busy flights. I’ve war-gamed this a lot over the summer while sat on planes and have come up with a definitive answer. Having the window seat provides two clear advantages. Not being disturbed by other passengers getting up to go to the bathroom. Control over the window blind (sometimes blindS if you get lucky). Both are crucial for sleep and general peace. Now you do lose arm-width on the side closest to the window, but you also lose that in the middle seat, and the benefits outweigh the costs. Big love, Try my productivity drink Neutonic. PS |
3 Minute Monday
Podcaster with 1bn+ plays. I write about the most important lessons from the best thinkers on the planet. 300,000+ people read my free newsletter. Press subscribe to join.
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, I'm going on tour to Australia, New Zealand & Bali in March. Come see me. “Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.” The line comes from Hamlet, and it’s usually misheard as an insult. As if Shakespeare is sneering at morality - like ethics soften us, or thought drains courage from the body. That’s not what’s happening, Shakespeare isn’t attacking goodness, he’s pointing at self-awareness and naming its cost. In the “To be, or not to be” soliloquy, Hamlet isn’t...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, “I still find myself with this sense that success has to be earned. And the only way to earn it is to inflict pain on yourself. And if you’re not in pain you didn’t try hard enough. And it would have been better if you’d suffered more. And I think that’s a lie, and I want to find out if it’s a lie or if it’s true.” — Rich Roll I think it’s a lie too. One of the most common questions that got asked on tour was “How do I give myself credit for my accomplishments in...
3 MINUTE MONDAY Hi friend, It's nearly the end of the year, you should do a review process. My End Of Year Review framework has been downloaded by 100,000 people and is totally free. Enjoy x This time of year can be tough. Downtime from busyness, overwhelm from family and melancholy from reflection can create the perfect storm for overthinking. So here’s 20 Sentences to Stop Overthinking by Nir Eyal. Use these one-liners as mantras when your brain won't switch off. I don't need certainty to...